are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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