You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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