A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
