You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
