So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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