Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
