so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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