the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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