Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
