are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
