pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't deserve a penis
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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