Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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