i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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