If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
