I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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