The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
