I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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