You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
