With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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