Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
