D3 body, D1 cock
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
