went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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