I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
