I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
