I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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