Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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