Quick, to the slutcave!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
