I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
