whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
