i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
