Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
