At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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