All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
