she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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