1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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