I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
