On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
