My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
