in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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