I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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