My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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