My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
