do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the raccoons are back...
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