A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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