tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
