two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
