I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
