I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
