Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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