everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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