Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
