Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
